


Love Again

by doqeom



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Character, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Confession, Falling In Love, M/M, Mentioned Huang Renjun, Mentioned Liu Yang Yang, Wedding, jaemin and jisung growing up together, mentioned lee donghyuck - Freeform, rated for language, referenced alcohol and drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25211200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doqeom/pseuds/doqeom
Summary: Park Jisung has fallen in love with Na Jaemin five times.First, when he was seven. Then again when he was eleven, then fifteen, then eighteen and then twenty five."Jaemin smiled that blinding smile, Jisung's favourite, where all the love Jaemin had, infinite amounts of it seemed to radiate off of his body.Jisung was more than willing to drown in it for the rest of his days."
Relationships: Na Jaemin/Park Jisung
Comments: 7
Kudos: 69





	Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> this is quite possibly my favourite thing ive ever written 🥺
> 
> jaemsung my babies i love them so much and hope this feeds the jaemsung nation 
> 
> *theyre only a year apart for the sake of the storyline lol

_is it supposed to be like this?_

_it doesn't make sense._

_i'll fall for you again if this keeps up._

Park Jisung has fallen in love with Na Jaemin a total of six times.

The first time was the day after his big brother's ninth birthday, when a moving truck pulled up in front of their neighbours house. It was a Saturday, their mother more than happy for them to spend the day playing outside, and the two immediately changed their game from running around with water guns to hiding behind the tree separating the two houses. 

They watched as people from the moving company began carrying furniture into the house. Jisung couldn't concentrate on Jeno's intense guessing game of what each wrapped item was when a boy jumped out of the car parked behind the truck. He was about their age, and Jisung felt his knees go wobbly.

He'd heard girls in his class giggle about the cutest boys, and this was definitely the best looking boy Jisung had ever seen. He was dressed in blue shorts, a pink jumper half tucked in, half falling out, and he had those nice sneakers that Chenle had too.

Jisung felt his cheeks go hot.

The boy noticed them staring, tugging at his mom's sleeve and pointing over at them. His mother grinned, shooing him over before heading to sort furniture. The boy was coming their way. 

Jisung started tugging at Jeno's new t-shirt, whining that they should go back to their game before the very pretty stranger interrupted them, but Jeno was already bolting out from behind the tree to greet his new best friend.

Na Jaemin. 

Jisung thought his name sounded like rainbows. 

The boy smiled happily when he found out he was the same age as Jeno, happily agreeing to join their water-gun-wielding-spies game. He turned to Jisung, who was still watching him from behind the tree.

"Is this your friend?"

Jeno shook his head, standing on his tiptoes a little to appear taller next to Jaemin. "This is my little brother. He doesn't have to play with us if you don't want him to."

Jisung's bottom lip wobbled. His big brother was trading him in for someone new already?

Jaemin widened his eyes, shaking his head as he held out a hand to Jisung. "Come play! You're both my new best friends!"

That afternoon, Jisung could hardly focus on the game, his heart spiralling out of his chest whenever Jaemin demanded to be on his team - reasoning that Jeno was the oldest and therefore had an advantage on the both of them.

When Jaemin's mom called him in for dinner, he promised they could come around tomorrow and see his new room. Jeno lay claim the second Jaemin was gone, telling Jisung that since they were the same age Jaemin was his new best friend, not Jisung's because Jisung had Chenle. Jisung argued back that Jaemin was eight, meaning he was in between the both of them, the age gap hardly there, and that Jeno had Mark, but the older simply stuck his tongue out and blamed the peas being fed to their dog on Jisung.

He climbed into bed that night, sad that Jaemin wouldn't be his friend, but sat back up when he noticed a flashing light from outside. He crawled over to his window, eyes widening when he saw Jaemin through the leaves in the trees. Jisung rolled up his window a little so he could hear the older. 

"Our rooms are next to each other!"

Jisung nodded, his stomach all filled with fizzy juice when Jaemin laughed. "Maybe we're soulmates!"

Jisung didn't know that word. 

"Soulmates?"

Jaemin nodded, lowering the flashlight he'd been using to get Jisung's attention. "Destined to be friends forever!"

Jisung was about to ask what destined meant, but then Jaemin's dad came in, telling him to get to bed and closing the window with a smile.

///

The second time was when Jisung was eleven. It was summer, and Jaemin's parents had signed him up for a dance club, meaning less time for them to hang out. 

Upon never-ending begging, his parents had let Jeno join, and now Jisung wanted to too. His brother and Jaemin were spending nearly every free minute dancing together with Jisung's dad's old radio in the backyard, and according to Jeno, Jisung couldn't join in because he couldn't dance. 

He was sitting on the floor of his living room while Chenle attempted to set up dominoes on their coffee table, knocking them down every few minutes. It was boiling outside, but Jeno and Jaemin could still be heard giggling away while they danced.

"Chenle? Do you think I could dance?"

Chenle looked up from his dominoes, sipping some of his lemonade before he responded, "I don't know. I thought Jeno had two left feet from my sister's wedding - but he seems to be doing fine."

Jisung hummed. He wondered silently what it would be like to be born with two left feet. 

"Do you want to join Jeno's dance club?"

Jisung nodded, the carpet burning the back of his head. 

Chenle giggled. "You have to audition to get in. I don't think you have much of a chance."

The younger frowned, sitting up and _accidentally_ knocking down Chenle's dominoes. "But _Jeno_ got in."

" _Yeah_ because Jaemin begged Ten-ge to let him join."

Jisung considered this. Maybe if he asked really nicely Jaemin would beg Chenle's brother's friend to let him join. He shook off that thought. 

"I want to get in just by auditioning."

Chenle shrugged. "Up to you, but you've missed the audition period so I don't know if Ten-ge will let you."

The room was quiet for a few minutes apart from the sound of slurping lemonade up a straw. 

"Is this because you want Jaemin to like you?"

Jisung jerked up from where he'd slumped back down on the carpet. "Jaemin doesn't like me?"

Chenle shrugged, a sly smile on his face. "He does... but since Jeno and him became dance nerds you've been all mopey like Charlie Brown."

"Who's Charlie Brown?"

Chenle rolled his eyes. "My point is - Jaemin is Jeno's best friend, but when he isn't giving you attention you go all sad. Like a baby."

Jisung pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not a _baby_ , and _Mark_ is Jeno's best friend. Jaemin is shared."

The Chinese hummed, but Jisung could tell by his expression that he was messing with him. 

"I'd talk to Jaemin about it. He's the one that's good at dancing."

So Jisung gathered all the courage he had and marched into the backyard once Chenle had left. Jeno was busy trying to decided which CD to slot into the radio player, and Jisung took a moment to watch Jaemin lying spread out on the patio, a bright smile on his face as he relaxed in the late afternoon sun.

Jisung shuffled over, sitting down next to him.

"Ji, how are you?"

Jisung smiled at the nickname, his stomach feeling queezy when Jaemin directed that gorgeous smile at him.

"I'm fine. I wanted to ask you something..."

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, but didn't make a move to sit up. "Yeah? About what?"

The younger swallowed the nerves building up, twiddling his thumbs.

"I want to learn how to dance. Then I want to audition for your club."

The sparkles in Jaemin's eyes could definitely be from the sun, even though his smile growing impossibly wider could only be caused by Jisung coming to him for help.

"That's great! It'll be so cool to have you and Jeno there!"

Jisung felt a sour taste in his mouth when he was reminded that obviously his big brother would be there too.

"Yeah... so how do I learn to dance?"

Jaemin giggled, sitting up to face Jisung better. He was all sweaty from dancing, which was gross but Jisung couldn't deny that the sun glinting off his face didn't remind him of the Greek statues he'd seen at the museum with his school.

"You need to practice lots! But I think Ten will let you in anyway because you're friends with me and Chenle. You're quite skinny, so I think you'd be good at moving fast once you get the hang of it." Jaemin pouted, poking at Jisung's arm. "You should eat more so I won't worry about you."

Jaemin worries about him?

Jisung shuffled, laughing nervously. "The doctor said its cause I have a fast metabolim."

The elder giggled. "Metabolism."

Jisung's cheeks were burning. "That, yeah."

Jaemin nodded, his smile looking like it was permanently attached to his face. "We'll hang out tomorrow while Jeno is at Mark's and I'll teach you, yeah?"

Jisung nodded, his own nervous smile falling a little when Jeno called Jaemin over, the music starting up again.

Jaemin jumped up, ruffling Jisung's hair before he ran off.

He hardly slept that night, rolling around in his bed. The prospect of spending the day with Jaemin - just them! - was so exciting that Jisung didn't think he could sleep.

When he rolled out of bed at eight am, his mom told him that Jaemin probably wouldn't be awake yet, so he should go back to sleep.

He spent the next few hours wiggling around in his room, watching himself in the mirror and trying to mentally compare himself to the dancing he'd seen on TV.

He silently prayed to the little good luck charm his grandmother had given him that he wouldn't make a fool of himself today.

Once Jeno headed off to Mark's on his bike, Jisung slipped through the hole in their back fence, leading him straight into Jaemin's garden. Jaemin's dad had installed a pool a couple years back, and Jaemin was currently floating around in it.

Jisung shuffled over, unaware if he was asleep on the float.

The elder lifted his sunglasses, grinning when he saw who was approaching. He slipped off the float, swimming across the edge to haul himself up.

Ever since Jeno and Jaemin had started middle school, Jaemin had become more and more cool in Jisung's eyes. This was a prime example.

He grabbed a towel to dry himself before slipping a t-shirt on, and Jisung noticed that he looked quite tired.

"I stayed up all night making you a routine for your audition! Ten wants us to make one anyway, so this just means I've got a head start on some of the older kids, and you'll have a better chance of getting in!"

"You... made a dance? For me?"

Jaemin grinned, throwing his still damp arms around Jisung in a hug. The younger felt his face heat up. 

"Yes! It's my job to help you! You're like my own little dance student."

Jisung smiled warmly, and Jaemin poked his cheeks on his way to get some cherry soda.

No one had ever stayed up all night for Jisung before.

///

The third time was not long after Jisung's fifteenth birthday. His school was holding a belated valentine's dance, and Jisung was determined he was _not going_. He'd had an insane growth spurt, now towering over most of his classmates, which made him feel very self-conscious. As well as the fact his mom kept asking which girl he would be taking, and Jisung wasn't sure if he wanted to go with a girl. 

So here he was, hauled up in his room while his parents took photos of Jeno and his date downstairs.

He was ready to stay in, maybe do some homework or catch up from where he and Chenle left off on The Office, but was interrupted by a light from outside shining right through his window.

He jumped, scrambling up to shove his window open, his heart dropping to the pit of his stomach when he saw Jaemin sitting in the tree between their windows, his phone shining right in Jisung's face.

"Pull me in Park."

He grinned up at Jisung, who stood there like an idiot before his body kicked into action and he helped pull his crush in through his bedroom window.

"Why did you- why would you- hyung you could have got hurt!"

Jaemin giggled at Jisung's panic, brushing a leaf out of his hair before throwing himself on the younger's bed.

Jaemin had dyed his hair pink for valentine's day, and every time Jisung saw it, his stomach fizzed and his hands got sweaty and he couldn't speak properly. It wasn't like this was the first time Jaemin had that effect on him, but it was more noticeable now that he was old enough to realise that he had a crush on one of his best friends.

Truthfully, it was probably way past the crush stage, since he'd been feeling like this for eight years. He was head-over-heels in love with Na Jaemin.

"I wanted to hang out with you! You got the new Spiderman film for your birthday, right?"

Jisung nodded, moving automatically to pick it out from his shelf of movies. He still couldn't wrap his head around the idea that Na Jaemin climbed a tree to hang out with him.

"You could've come in the front door."

Jaemin grinned. "No I couldn't. Then Jeno would have seen me, and knew that the lie I made up about feeling too sick to go to the dance was fake."

Jisung's eyebrows shot up his forehead. 

"What? You told my brother you were sick?"

Jaemin nodded, his hair brushing against Jisung's pillow. "He really wanted me to go, but he has Mark and Renjun and Siyeon so he doesn't need me. Dances are fun but if you're not there then I'd just be bored. Plus he'd be all weird if he knew I bailed on a school dance to hang out with you."

Jisung didn't ask why that would be weird, so the question hung unsaid in the air as he slotted the DVD into the player.

"I still can't believe you climbed the tree."

Jaemin giggled, shuffling closer when Jisung sat a reasonable distance away on his bed. "Well, I climbed out my window into the tree and then slid across to get to yours."

The older was in fits of giggles at the look of horror on Jisung's face, his eyes wide as he stared at Jaemin. "That's so dangerous!"

Jaemin shrugged, leaning his head on Jisung's shoulder as the movie started up.

Jisung could feel his hair tickling his neck, and let a feeling of warmth wash over him. The elder was affectionate with Jisung a lot, but that was just who he was, and he usually kept it to a minimum in front of their friends. 

So this felt different. Just the two of them in Jisung's room, the only light coming from the screen and the glow stars on Jisung's ceiling he'd got to match with Jaemin when he was eight.

"I'd risk falling out a tree for you any day Jisung."

"I'm asking my dad to cut the tree down first thing tomorrow."

Jaemin whined, but there were giggles throughout it, and Jisung felt himself relax, a soft smile on his face as Jaemin huddled closer, tugging a blanket around the two.

///

The fourth time was when Jisung graduated high school. 

He'd spent the day with family and friends after the ceremony, some of it crying (out of happiness to finally be gone from that hell-hole) and was ready to spend the rest of it in bed. 

Apparently his friends had other ideas. 

"Jisung come _on_!" Chenle whined, jutting his bottom lip out. "Jaemin's gonna pick us up and we're gonna go to the end of year college party! We have to be prepared for when we're _actually_ at college."

Jisung thought that was a bit of a shit excuse, considering he probably wouldn't be caught dead at parties in college for fear of falling behind in his classes, but at the promise that Jaemin would be with them the whole night he solemnly agreed.

The drive was fun, with Chenle calling shotgun but Jaemin insisting that was Jisung's seat; it had been since Jaemin got the car. He'd sewn Jisung's initials into the side, a secret only the two friends knew. They played loud songs they all knew, belting out the lyrics full of happiness and a brief sense of being free now that it was summer. 

When they pulled up to the frat on Jaemin's campus that was holding the massive party, Chenle was excitedly running in to greet their other friends, but Jisung felt sick. There were so many people, and the smell of alcohol and something that might have been weed made his nose crinkle. Jaemin hooked their arms together, a silent promise that he wouldn't leave him alone, and the two headed into the party. 

All Jisung had had to drink was cola, but he guessed by the funny feeling in his stomach and the way he felt more relaxed that it might have had some alcohol in it. A small part of his brain told him that his parents would go ballistic if he got drunk, but seeing Jaemin all happy, dancing around always with one hand on Jisung to let him know he was there was definitely worth it.

A friend of Jaemin's that Jisung had never met before begged them to come join spin the bottle upstairs. Jisung felt disgusted at the jealousy coursing through him when she lay her hand on Jaemin's arm, leaning in so close to talk that their lips almost touched. He was eighteen, still stuck in love with Jaemin. He'd tried every way he could to get rid of it - going on dates, Chenle's hypnosis technique, even trying to lose his virginity to someone else after Donghyuck promised it would take his mind off Jaemin, which he later realised was really not something he'd ever be into. Another reason to add to the list of Reasons Na Jaemin Wouldn't Want To Date You.

Jisung didn't know if kissing strangers at a party was something he'd want to do, but he reckoned that they'd be hidden in a cupboard so he wouldn't _have_ to, and Jaemin's excited smile was enough to get him to agree.

Sitting in a circle of college students and high schoolers ready to kiss whoever they got paired with was terrifying. Also annoying because boys and girls alike kept looking Jaemin up and down like he was on show, and he was grateful when Jaemin leaned his weight on him, hand resting on Jisung's thigh. That got them to look away, and relief flooded through him. 

A few pairs went by, the bottle never landing on either of them, and Jisung couldn't really see why people enjoyed this game if you had to wait for seven minutes to even see if they'd done anything, but Jaemin kept whispering made-up scenarios in his ear about the strange things people might be talking about in there, making Jisung giggle warmly. 

But then it was his turn. 

All eyes were on him and Jisung had never wanted to curl up in a ball so badly. 

He spun it, watching as it slowed down next to the stranger on his right, then almost stopping at him (did you spin again or did you have to make out with a mirror?) and stopped on Jaemin.

There were a couple of whistles in the circle from Jaemin's college friends, who simply giggled, pulling Jisung up with him and into the closet.

It was dark in there, except from the light pouring in under the door, and Jisung could smell the alcohol on Jaemin's breath. 

They'd been close before, but never like this. 

And then Jaemin's hands were on his arms and Jisung felt his lips brushing his and he _panicked_.

He stumbled back, hitting the light switch as he hit the wall, and was met with a dumbfounded expression on Jaemin's face. 

"You don't want to? We don't have to."

It was probably the alcohol in his system, because Jisung knew totally sober Jisung would never say something like this, and once he started he couldn't stop. 

"No- I mean yes! I do! Jaemin, I want to kiss you so badly," Jaemin's cheeks were flaming, "but not like this."

Jaemin clearly couldn't decide whether to take that as a compliment or not. "Okay?"

"I just-" Jisung's throat was really dry. "I like you. A lot. I've liked you since I was _seven_ , Jaemin, and I don't think I could handle it if you kissed me in a closet because a game told you to, knowing you see me as just your best friend."

Jaemin's expression softened, and he reached out to pull Jisung into a hug. "Jisungie- oh my God. I've had a crush on you since I was fifteen."

Jisung felt like he was going to explode. "I'm sorry... you what?"

Jaemin was giggling now, his head buried in Jisung's neck. 

"I though you weren't interested. You always seemed to back away from my advances."

"What advances?"

Jaemin pulled back so Jisung could see him rolling his eyes. "Remember when there was that dance and we watched Spiderman?" Jisung nodded, not really following. "I thought you might think the tree thing was romantic, but then you didn't, so then I thought maybe leaning in and getting close to you during that romantic kiss scene might make you realise, but no still no reaction."

Jisung was an idiot. He'd pushed that moment to the back of his mind, convinced he imagined it, the way Jaemin leaned closer to him, one arm wrapped around Jisung's waist during the kiss scene, joking that Jisung was still too much of a baby to see it, and blocking Jisung's view with his own face.

"You wanted me to kiss you."

Jaemin nodded, the edges of his lips curling up. "Yes, idiot."

Jisung groaned, rubbing his face with his hands, to which Jaemin simply giggled at. 

"Still... I don't want to kiss you for the first time in a closet in a frat house."

Jaemin nodded, trying his hardest to contain his smile. "Understandable. Wanna get out of here instead? Maybe we can head back to mine and watch Spiderman."

Jisung cringed when Jaemin wiggled his eyebrows, but a giggle slipped out and he nodded.

The door swung open, the seven minutes up, and everyone booed when they realised all they'd done was talk, but Jisung couldn't keep the dazed smile off his face when Jaemin held his hand, leading him back downstairs towards his car.

The fourth time was later that night. Spiderman two or three - they'd all blended into one - was still playing, but all Jisung's peanut brain could think about was _Na Jaemin_. 

He was kissing him, something Jisung had dreamed about since he was thirteen, and he couldn't stop smiling. Jaemin kept giggling at him to stop, that they couldn't make out properly, but Jisung couldn't help it. It was like the muscles in his face were stuck in a permanent smile, with one sincere cause behind it.

Jaemin's hands were warm on his waist, never moving after Jisung had quietly told him he'd realised he wasn't into anything past kissing, which the elder was fine with. Jisung was convinced he could commit multiple felonies and Jaemin would still hold his hand. His lips were soft, had been ever since Chenle had forced him to start buying lip balm a few months back and Jisung mentally thanked him. Their kisses were languid, moving like water together, the two fitting like a puzzle piece.

This was where Jisung belonged. In the hands of Na Jaemin. 

"I love you," Jaemin had murmured against his lips, and Jisung's heart was so full it could burst. 

"I love you too,"

///

The fifth time was a week before Jaemin's twenty-sixth birthday, and Jisung was sweating so much he thought the suit he was wearing might permanently stick to him.

"You got this," Chenle assured him, but Jisung wasn't sure he did. He wanted this part to be over with so he could hold Jaemin again, curl up away from prying eyes. Just Jisung and Jaemin like it had been and always would be. 

Jeno slipped in from a side door, wrapping his little brother in a tight hug, and Jisung looked past his own nerves to make fun of his brother for the tears in his eyes. 

"Jaemin's ready," he said, and Jisung would have laughed at the way Jeno's voice broke had it not been that he was sure his own would. Jisung nodded, wanting to see Jaemin as soon as possible please, and hold his hands. That would calm him down. Just being in the same room as Jaemin took away all his insecurities.

The music started up, and Jisung felt his heart stop.

They'd asked Ten's son Yangyang to be the flower boy, and Jisung couldn't help cooing as many did as he skipped excitedly down the aisle.

Everything after that was a blur. He saw Jaemin standing in the doorway, his arm hooked through his mothers, and Jisung knew he would never see anyone the way he saw Jaemin.

Jaemin was ethereal, out of this world, quite possibly unreal. Jisung had asked him if he was an god once when he was drunk, and Jaemin had simply kissed him in response. When he looked at Jisung, nothing else mattered. The world could collapse in on itself and Jisung probably wouldn't notice as long as Jaemin kept his eyes on him.

"I love you."

That was all he could say when Jaemin stood in front of him, squeezing his hands tightly.

Jaemin smiled that blinding smile, Jisung's favourite, where all the love Jaemin had, infinite amounts of it seemed to radiate off of his body.

Jisung was more than willing to drown in it for the rest of his days.

**Author's Note:**

> quote and title from (you guessed it) love again by nct dream <3
> 
> if you want to scream about nct with me, dm me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kvncult?s=09) !! (i love making friends <3)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/chenjaem)


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